Growing In Step With Our Wives

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This month at After Hours we attempted to have some discussion around strengthening our relationships with our wives. Sometimes we get it right, and sometimes we don’t, but I hope you were able to take away some strategies that will help in your marriage.

I thought Jim Keena’s example of him stopping by his wife’s place of work just to hang out for fifteen minutes pretty much said it all. He left early that day and would get back late that night, but managed to find some time in the middle of the day to spend time with his wife. Thoughtful, intentional, and unselfish. Thanks Jim for sharing and living out the example we can all learn from.

I received an email from my wife yesterday that said, “I’m SO glad that YOU love me.” Then she had forwarded these thoughts from Dr. James Dobson. He says: “We have all heard it said that a woman is most beautiful when she is in love. It’s true. You’ve seen it yourself. When a woman knows that she is loved and loved deeply, she glows from the inside. This radiance stems from a heart that has had its deepest questions answered. ‘Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? Have I been and will I continue to be romanced?’ When these questions are answered, Yes, a restful, quiet spirit settles in a woman’s heart.” There have been times throughout these 42 years that I know I could have given her more assurances. I regret that, but I’m grateful for how God works with us as we move through life.

You may be living your dream, but there could be unanswered questions in your wife’s restless heart.

My hope is that we walk away from After Hours wanting to please our wives in a multiple of ways. How can we demonstrate our love in the simple things? Spending some targeted time together, being better listeners, writing a meaningful note, an extra date once in a while, dropping by her work – or the house, planning a special trip and getting it organized, rounding up baby sitters and doing a quick overnighter somewhere close, and so on. There are probably a host of little things we could do that would make a difference, and become significant emotional deposits for our spouse. What if we just picked her up and drove out to Three Forks or Livingston and had coffee together? That’s cheap, close, but an hour or two you could be together that could be a difference maker. Take your relationship back to your dating days and keep it there.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… – Ephesians 5:25

Some of us are regular church attenders, and some of us aren’t. All of you have some interest in spiritual things or you wouldn’t be coming to After Hours. That’s what I love about our times together. None of us have it all figured out, but we’re humble enough to show up and see if we can make some progress. The way I see it, if I can hang out at a table and just listen to what one of you are dealing with, it helps us both. I hope you see your time at After Hours as both a time to speak into someone’s life, but also to be filled up, so you can stay on track if you’re dealing with stuff. In other words, its not always just about me. It works both ways, and we really do need each other. I like the old adage, loving God, and loving people. Right foot, left foot – loving God and loving people on our faith-walk. So if you don’t come for yourself, come for the benefit of someone else. Our goal hasn’t changed since day one. Let’s recognize our mortality, and God’s love and plans for us. Let’s be open to God’s word and make some progress together. Pretty simple. But it takes a certain degree of humility to show up and see what God may reveal to us.

Remember, no matter what you are going through, God has the best plans for you. Plans to bless you and keep you in his care. If you have anxiety, He will transfer it away from you and on to Him. If you are dealing with hardship, a trial at work, tough decisions that are looming, if you trust him, you’ll experience his hand in your life. Just be patient. Experiencing God comes with simple steps of trust on our part. We need to try him out and put our concerns on him. When we do that, we can get through anything, and good things begin to happen!

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